Let’s be real: most of us were never taught how to deal with feelings.
We were told to “calm down,” “stop overreacting,” or “just get on with it.” So it makes sense if your go-to response now is to push feelings aside and hope they disappear. (Spoiler: they don’t.)

If you’re the kind of person who bottles things up, distracts yourself until it passes, or numbs out with scrolling, you’re not alone — and you’re not broken.
You just need some tools

Why We Avoid Feeling Our Feelings

Avoiding emotions isn’t about weakness. It’s often about survival. Maybe you grew up in an environment where expressing feelings wasn’t safe or accepted. Maybe you were always the “strong one,” or maybe your emotions just feel too big sometimes.

Here’s the thing: emotions don’t disappear when we avoid them. They just go underground  and come out sideways (like in anxiety, burnout, mood swings, or even physical tension). The body holds the trauma.

So What Does It Mean to “Process” Emotions?

Processing your emotions is simply the act of:

1. Noticing what you're feeling

2. Naming it

3. Allowing it to exist without judgment

4. Moving through it  not around it

Sounds simple. It's not always easy. But it is doable.

🛠️ A Step-by-Step Guide to Processing Your Feelings

1. Pause and Check In

Find a quiet moment and ask: “What’s going on inside me right now?”
You can close your eyes, put a hand on your chest, or even just take a breath. Your body usually knows something’s up before your brain catches on.

2. Name What You Feel (Not What You Think)

We often confuse thoughts with feelings. “I feel like a failure” is a thought.
Try something like: “I feel sad,” “I feel ashamed,” “I feel scared,” “I feel numb.”

Here’s a quick shortcut:

“I feel [emotion] because [situation]… and it makes sense I feel that way.”

3. Let the Emotion Exist

This is the hard part: sit with the feeling instead of fighting it.
That might mean crying, journaling, shaking it out, or just sitting quietly and breathing through it. The goal isn’t to fix it  just to feel it.

4. Move It Through Your Body

Emotions are energy, and they need motion. Go for a walk. Stretch. Dance. Cry. Scream into a pillow. Scribble in a notebook.
Let your body help you release what your brain is holding.

5. Ask Yourself What You Need

After the wave passes, gently ask: “What would help me feel a bit more supported right now?”
It could be a nap. A phone call. A break. A boundary. A snack. Or just a moment of self-compassion.

🧠 What If It Feels Too Big?

Sometimes feelings feel like too much  like if you really let them out, they’ll swallow you. If that’s the case, you don’t have to do it alone.

That’s where counselling can help. Together, we can explore what you’re carrying and find safe, manageable ways to work through it  at your pace.

🌱 You Don’t Have to Be “Good” at This

You don’t need to journal perfectly, cry on cue, or meditate like a monk.
Emotional processing is messy, human work and the fact that you’re even trying is already a huge deal.

Your feelings are valid. Your experiences matter. And you’re allowed to feel what you feel.

Need support? If you’re ready to explore your emotions in a safe, non-judgemental space, I’m here. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsure where to begin, you don’t have to figure it all out alone. I offer a calm, confidential, and non-judgemental space where you can explore what’s going on — at your pace, in your own way.
Whether you’re struggling or just feeling a bit lost, you’re welcome here.